The 8 Coachella Characters You’ll Meet on the Fairground
At Coachella, every year is a brand-new adventure. The performers, the vendors, and the art installations are constantly changing, to say nothing of the vibes on the fairground. Coachella is like an ocean wave or a snowflake--you can have a general idea of what it’s going to look like, but it’ll never be exactly the same as the others.
One thing, however, remains tried and true: the Coachella characters. Ranging from the uptight FOMO Captain to the blissed-out Drifter, each of these characters will be sure to make an appearance on your festival journey. It just wouldn’t be Coachella without them.
Type #1: The Artiste
Identified by his longish hair and 70s band T-shirt (and probably a vest or a bowler hat, depending on how hot it is), The Artiste is an encyclopedia of knowledge on everything highbrow. Obsessed with only the most obscure artists, he’ll probably try to convince you to skip Janelle Monae to watch some Ukranian folk band at one of the smaller stages. Follow him at your own risk.
Type #2: The Prophet
Out in the real world, The Prophet is a relatively rare breed, but at Coachella, she’s everywhere. Bedecked in crystal necklaces that she insists have healing powers, she will find out your full astrology profile within minutes of meeting you. She’s prone to warning other festivalgoers if Mercury is about to go retrograde, and she says things like, “Don’t listen to him, he’s a Leo rising.”
Type #3: The Campground Mom
Kind and caring, this character has generally come well-prepared to rescue other festivalgoers from the perils of the desert. This is the one giving out Liquid I.V. Hydration Multiplier sticks by the fistful to dehydrated partiers, slathering sunscreen on unsuspecting strangers, and bringing along three extra scarves in case one of her friends gets chilly at night. This one’s a keeper. Pro tip: if you’re starving and the food lines are a mile long, the Campground Mom generally has a secret stash of trail mix hidden in one of her many pockets.
Type #4: The FOMO Captain
Amidst a sea of people just trying to relax and let loose, the FOMO Captain is a sight to behold. He knows the schedules of every performance and event and is constantly mentally negotiating the pros and cons of attending each one. Totally stressed out and terrified to miss a single act, the FC can generally be found hustling from stage to stage, dragging his bewildered friends behind him with the discipline of a military general.
Type #5: The Selfie Queen
Need we say more? The Selfie Queen is obsessed with getting the perfect Instagram-worthy shots—and she will get them. She’s always dressed to the nines, generally wearing a flower crown, temporary tattoos and oodles of fringe. Her makeup is on point so she never misses a photo op, but she’s not much for conversation. Don’t approach this one—she may recruit you to be her photographer for the next round of pics by the Ferris Wheel, and we all know that could take a while.
Type #6: The Veteran
Generally wearing highly practical footwear and a sturdy, utilitarian fanny pack, the Veteran has been to Coachella—many times—and is constantly reminding you of the fact. He’s made rookie mistakes at the festival in the past, (like wearing SPF 30 instead of 50, or skipping the Do Lab) and he simply wants to spare you the same shame and regret he had to endure in 2015. He’s like the Dad version of the Campground Mom—tossing Liquid I.V. Sleep sticks to all his neighbors before they hit the hay. He may be a bit of a buzzkill, but you’ll be reeeally thankful you took his advice.
Type #7: The Drifter
This free-spirited boho chick goes wherever the wind takes her. Prone to taking off with new friends from Iceland who don’t speak a word of English to check out a band she’s never heard of, she’s usually having the most fun out of anyone at Coachella. She’s also the most likely character to be the recipient of some serious Coachella luck, like randomly ending up in a VIP tent with Childish Gambino or accidentally winning backstage passes to Ariana Grande. Take a lesson from her, Coachella newbies, and go with the flow.
Type #8: The Best Person Ever
She’ll show up when you least expect it—making a hilarious pun while waiting in line behind you at the hot dog tent, or lending you a hand when you’re having trouble pitching your tent—but you’ll know instantly that you’ve met a bestie for life. Coachella is full of happy accidents that bring lifelong friends together, and the BPE will end up being your favorite Coachella souvenir.
Get excited, LIV fam! Coachella is just around the corner, and we can’t wait to hear about your encounters with all the crazy Coachella characters! Don’t forget to order your Festival Bundle, complete with Liquid I.V. Hydration Multiplier AND Liquid I.V. Sleep, so you can be in top form all weekend long.
Enjoy, and stay safe!
Written by: Samantha Colicchio, Liquid I.V. Brand Storyteller
